I’ve never really been into the British monarchy and the celebrity attached to the institution. I am not really against it, either, so, ambivalent, I suppose. I have not watched the Harry and Meghan Netflix series, either.
Lately, though, I have found myself intrigued by a couple of interviews of Prince Harry that I watched. Both were conducted by people that I consider to be skilled interviewers. Stephen Colbert and Anderson Cooper have the ability to make the interview about the person being interviewed, not about themselves. They are also adept at asking questions that pertain to the person to whom they are speaking in a way that points to larger truths, to things about the human condition.
When I heard about Prince Harry’s book my knee jerk reaction was that he was airing dirty laundry. I held a kind of “why would he do that?” and “doesn’t this go too far?” and “would you like your family member to be public about all the dysfunction in your family?” opinion. Then, when I watched the interviews, my consideration changed.
Harry is allowed to share his story. He is telling the world about his life as he sees it. Even more, I think that people may identify with it and, perhaps, even be helped by it.
For so long, the refusal to allow this kind of disclosure has protected not the vulnerable, but the powerful. Abusers have been protected by such silence. Institutions that have become damaging or domineering have been protected by such silence.
There are countless examples from within religious circles in which people who have been abused have been told that they need to keep quiet to protect the institution. Has the insistence upon silence in royalty or religion been about protecting the vulnerable or has it more often been about protecting the powerful?
I am not saying that Prince Harry is marginalized and hard done by. Some critics have said that because he has lived a life of tremendous privilege he ought not speak about his pain or suffering. Why does one negate the other? Perhaps we can learn more, not less, about the humanity of others by seeing that dysfunction and suffering are actually universal. I have not heard Harry deny that his life has been privileged. Rather, I have heard him speak about how pain and dysfunction can be manifest in such circumstances.
You may recall the opening words to Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina, “All happy families resemble one another, but each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” This can become a way of pointing to the truth that all families are dysfunctional. Harry has chosen to reveal some of the ways in which the British Royal family is dysfunctional. I haven’t read the book yet, but I am open to the possibility that things might not be as bad as I would have assumed. Having been a pastor for many years, and being part of a family myself, I have seen very many ways in which families can be dysfunctional. It can be hard enough for a “church family” or a “Christian family”, or a “pastor’s family.” I can scarcely imagine how a family could not be highly dysfunctional if it was known as “The Royal Family.”
One of the things that I reacted to, something that was made public before the book came out, was that Harry somehow bragged about killing 25 members of the Taliban when he was in the military. In his interview with Stephen Colbert he seemed most upset about this. He said that the item, as reported, is not at all in the book. Rather, his mentioning that his experience of war included killing was entirely intended to help people who have experienced such things and may face terrible PTSD as a result. He was not bragging at all. That’s what he said in the interview. I will read the book and see how it sounds to me, but Harry’s explanation did make sense to Stephen Colbert (who has read the book) who said that it was in no way a brag on Harry’s part.
I bring all of this up in Evangelically Departed because I see the willingness of Prince Harry to speak about his family as parallel to what can happen in religion and church. There can be a tendency to think that the image, the reputation of the church, or of church hierarchy needs to be protected against threat by speaking of the less than good parts. This tendency has protected institutions, but not vulnerable people. It is easy to see a tendency to protect God in such a way. Whenever religion thinks that “defending the faith” or protecting the institution is a religious virtue, we ought to be able to ask why. If we think that God or the faith needs defending, this shows a lack of faith, not a presence of it.
If Harry is lying that’s one thing, but if the monarchy has to be protected from the truth that is another. I find myself idealistically hoping that someone in the royal family, maybe King Charles, could have the freedom and courage to say, “My son has chosen to reveal some of the ways in which our family is messed up. You can likely identify with this, even though your family is messed up in different ways than ours.”
My knee jerk reaction is not entirely unlike the loud voices of condemnation that accuse Harry of being whiny, ungrateful, disrespectful, and spoiled. The assumption is that he should just shut up. Should other people who have revealed disturbing things about institutions or religion or power within families shut up as well? What kind of world would we have if they all did?
As I have heard Harry interviewed I have not heard him coming across as ungrateful or blind to the privilege in his life. To me, he sounds like someone who is willing to name his own excess and error, someone who has received help and counselling enough to be willing and able to share his story in the hopes that it might actually help others. Or is it just gossip and a desire for money?
You may have decided already.
I also saw the interview with Stephen Colbert and saw Harry in a totally new light. We had started watching the Harry and Meghan series and stopped after the first one because it sounded too much like they were just whining. After hearing him speak, I am going back and finishing the series. He seems to be a really good guy who has some insights to share with the rest of us.
I will read the book as well.
The title itself is frightening.
Who would want to grow up knowing that you were “the spare”.
I choose to believe that Harry is being honest.
I believe that he is speaking for his mother as well as himself.
It takes courage to be the lone voice.
I look forward to hearing his story.