Nothing Compares 2 U
Theological and Pastoral Reflections on the Life and Death of Sinéad O'Connor
In the self-referential way that we often remember things, I have quite vivid memories of when Sinéad O’Connor tore up a photo of the Pope during a performance on Saturday Night Live. It was 1992, the year that Jen and I were married. Times like that are easy to remember and cultural moments that coincide timewise become easy to recall. They can carry a heightened emotional weight.
Looking back now reminds us of how change comes slowly, but also how a decade or two can be enough space to occasion the comment that things were different then.
Sinéad O’Connor sang/spoke the Bob Marley song War as a protest song and then tore up the photo of Pope John Paul II as a comment against the sexual abuse of children within the Catholic Church. Societal reaction, as these things often happen, was to treat O’Connor as the villain and the act of tearing up the photo as the crime. It is astounding to consider this in light of what it was she was seeking to draw to the attention of the world. She was banned from SNL and NBC after that. She was booed off stage in multiple cities and her career was never the same. Her act of protest took place at the height of her career. She sacrificed her career on behalf of the wounded and vulnerable and traumatized.
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She was among the traumatized and wounded. She was famous for her shaved head. After all, it was evident that she was beautiful. She had intense and engaging eyes and her voice and presence carried a power that was engaging and demanding. There have been stories of two different reasons for her shaved head being told since her death. O’Connor herself has mentioned both reasons, and, of course, they can both be true.
She said that one of the reasons she kept her head shaved was that she was aware that the music business at the time largely, in her words, “prostituted” young female performers. Record company executives counselled her to let her hair grow long and to use her sexuality to enhance her popularity. She refused. She saw herself as a protest singer.
The second reason given had to do with her family. Her Mom (who she said was the person she thought about when she sang Nothing Compares 2 U) would introduce her sister, who had long hair, as “the ugly one” and Sinéad as “the pretty one.” This lead Sinéad to determine not to be pretty. She did not want to be pretty. She said that pretty was dangerous.
One repeated refrain that you may have heard in relation to O’Connor is that she was “difficult.” I have heard people described in this way before. In the years of being a pastor of a church, the term was most often used by a man who had some level of authority to describe a woman. Women who did not toe the party line, women who dared to ask questions or oppose authority were difficult. Often, men who did the same thing were simply seen as strong, maybe even “good leaders.”
I’ve written before about a book that addresses the religious culture of Ireland up until recent history. The book is called “We Don’t Know Ourselves: A Personal History of Modern Ireland”. It is well worth a read. Author Fintan O’Toole identifies some of the inconsistencies and terrors of religious culture. He demonstrates that society finally largely walked away from the church because the church was less, not more, moral than the world outside of the church.
One of the video clips that I saw of Sinéad O’Connor speaking about the church using hell and terror to manipulate and control people does something similar.
There are multiple theological and pastoral notes to touch upon from O’Connor’s life and death. She herself repeatedly spoke about the importance of theology. She saw how bad theology can be used to support abuse and fear and control. Even after her SNL protest, she spoke of how she valued her Catholic faith, but of how the “Christ figures” in terms of leadership and hierarchy in the church that do things that are very anti-Christ should be called out. A few years ago O’Connor adopted Islamic faith and changed her name. It makes perfect sense that someone who faced what she faced in her life would feel a need to identify with another faith altogether.
The sorrow and struggle in O’Connor’s life did not cease with her fame and popularity. Last year, her 17-year-old son took his own life. I have seen some of her words about this devastating loss. They are hard to read. She speaks of her son as a lost soul-mate. Here are her words; “We were one soul in two halves. He was the only person who ever loved me unconditionally. I am lost in the bardo without him."
These words are emotionally moving, but they are also indicative of some of the mental health struggles that O’Connor faced in life. Even as they are true, they remind us that we often place too much pressure on those closest to us.
Looking back I have this sense that O’Connor was something of an Old Testament prophet. Those characters could be hard to be around as well. They said things that people largely did not want to hear. They challenged and exposed the sinister reality of the powers that be. For the most part, people might find such characters compelling, but for the most part people did not actually want to listen.
A hopeful view of faith and redemption holds to the hope that all pain and sorrow and loss will be redeemed. This includes the loss and trauma and suffering of Sinéad O’Connor. Those 30 years ago or so, she was an edgy superstar. Today, the power of her prophetic message remains. The hope for healing, even from abuses by so-called leaders of faith calls us forward.
Re the Catholic Church and abuse of children in residential schools...where I live is a catholic monastery and boys school. Every sign leading up to it on the mountain has children’s handprints in orange. It’s impactful ... and I suggest it’s placed there via graffiti.
Thanks NP!