I have a book recommendation. The book is called “The School for Good Mothers” written by Jessamine Chan. From what I have heard, Jessamine Chan has written quite a few short stories, but this is her first novel. It’s a good, if disturbing, read.
The book proves again the point that often the deepest truths are identified in fiction. There is a ton to unpack in the book, my reflection here is on one particular concept that plays out in the novel. The concept is that of transgression, or wrongdoing, or as some would call it, sin.
I won’t give too much away, but the title itself points towards the dichotomy of good mother / bad mother. In the book, there is an actual “School for Good Mothers” and in that school, the students are forced to repeat, over and over the words,
“I am a bad mother, but I am learning to be good.”
I have been listening to the audiobook. I am not quite finished (so don’t give it away). To my ear, the book has a kind of Margaret Atwood-dystopian sense to it. In some ways, the most disturbing parts are these forced namings of failure or wrong, even if that wrong has been occasioned by some misfortune.
What strikes me, thinking through evangelical concepts of sin and evil and shame, is that, I so very often saw a similar understanding in the evangelical church. Everything started with and had to do with sin.
Sin (and evil and judgment and wrongdoing) was actually the heart of the matter. Jesus, and forgiveness and salvation, may have had a presence, but that presence was not as big as the presence of shortcoming and failure and wretchedness. Too often, Jesus was merely the solution to a problem, the means to an end. Chan’s depiction of forced confession and self-hatred offers a stark and harsh depiction of why this way of thinking is always, ultimately hopeless.
If you grew up in evangelical religious circles, to some degree or other, you are familiar with this. Everything started with sin and ended with punishing judgment. The sin starting point could not possibly change. The only way to avoid the punishing judgment was to accept Jesus, to pray a prayer, to admit your wretchedness. This was a kind of “I am a bad mother, but I am learning to be good” way of seeing self and the world. It was also, as becomes obvious to anyone who thinks about it, a terribly effective way to scare and control people.
I have become convinced that this way of seeing the world, of seeing our frailty and wrongdoing, and of seeing God, is far less than Christian. It is a way that diminishes and dehumanizes completely in contrast to the way of Jesus who elevated others and dehumanized no one. It sees God as a tyrant who is disappointed in everyone (particularly you), in contrast to the way of Jesus who was self-giving and moved towards people, not away from them.
One of the repeated ideas mentioned in this newsletter is that sin is not ultimate. This theological concept is taken from the work of Karl Barth who, in contrast to most of the Christian religion of his day (and to this day), cautioned that if we want to understand anything of God, then we can never start with sin or wrongdoing.
In Barth’s words,
“We should first speak of God’s design and only then of humanity’s disorder.”
This is not particularly emotionally compelling language, but I am confident that if you grew up evangelical, the words can offer you hope and comfort. If you grew up thinking that your acceptability and your goodness, were always in doubt, then Barth’s words might help you to see something better. It is as if most of evangelical thinking around sin and salvation was in the “I am a bad mother, but I am learning to be good” way of seeing things. Barth countered this, not by saying that we are all super fantastic and always right, not that we are entirely trustworthy people who can do no wrong (such thinking is another form of hopelessness). He did not hold an “everyone is always awesome” idealistic view. What he did say was that the thing that mattered most was not our shortcoming, but God’s design. That design was hopeful and life-giving and open and compassionate.
He described this further by acknowledging that virtually all religious systems start with the problem and thus betray a bleak sense of humanity and the future.
“The example of the dogmatics (teaching) of all ages and churches and movements has begun with a doctrine of sin, first stating the problem, then giving the decisive answer.”
He went on to say that in a truly Christian way of seeing things we start instead with Christology (a view of Jesus and God’s design). It feels like there is nothing Christlike in the way of having everyone, all of the time, start with how terrible they are. This is because there IS nothing Christlike in that way. Jesus himself identified such a way as representing not good, but evil. I think that’s why it looks like evil when we see it in a novel.
Many people who grew up in evangelical circles, even if they have long since parted company, are still weighed down with a sense of some kind of potential cosmic disapproval for any decision made, action taken, song listened to, television show watched, etc. etc. They may even continue to allow themselves to be controlled by people (religious or otherwise) who are all too ready to tell them how bad they are or how much they have failed.
People (including some pastors and church leaders) who dislike humanity have used this feeling of uncertainty to then control people, just as was done by the authorities in “The School for Good Mothers”.
We ought to let go of all of this bullshit. Fear and control and dehumanization and getting people to feel terrible about themselves can be prevalent in church. You might not believe so, but ask around and you will find that many people have experienced this. I have seen a kind of friendly version of this which is harder to spot but is astoundingly present in churches filled with young people, large worship bands and big video screens. This version employs a smiling, pat on the head reminder of how terrible you are from someone who is claiming to love you. Unsurprisingly, that same person claims to be the one who can help you if you just get with their programme. Welcome to the School for Good Mothers.
If you want to understand the way of Jesus, then a key piece of doing so might just be to finally let go of this manipulative counterfeit faith so often presented as Christian understanding. I generally don’t like using the word, “evil”. I find that it is used to legitimize terror and control, to legitimize violence and coercion. When I do think that I have seen evil, it is when I see this kind of brutal dehumanization, this kind of hatred of people posing as true concern and love.
I’ll write about it some other time, but Barth cautioned about how we see and define evil as well. He said that evil, in Christian understanding, could only be understood as “that which is overcome”. There is hope in that. In consistently reminding people of the wrong they have done and how that wrong ought to label them for life, there is only disdain.
We can do so much better. There is true reason for hope.
"Many people who grew up in evangelical circles, even if they have long since parted company, are still weighed down with a sense of some kind of potential cosmic disapproval for any decision made, action taken, song listened to, television show watched, etc. etc." My husband grew up in an evangelical church and this describes him perfectly. It's so true.
Yes and amen to this whole post.