Evangelically Departed is back after a summer break. As September sets in you may have found yourself asking or being asked, “How was your summer?” It is a friendly question, a version of, “How are You?” It also carries some potential landmines. Summer, as you might know, is supposed to be great. If you have young children, you might measure the adventure or travel of one summer against that of the previous summer. If you have significant amount of time off work in the summer, then you may measure the experiences and travel of one summer against those of other summers.
In some cases, the person asking you might be all too keen to tell you that their summer was fantastic. Maybe they travelled to Europe or had a great time at the lake or just had the most restful month or two off.
What if your summer was 4 out of 10 - or worse?
The judging of one summer as compared to another points to a relentless scenario of pressure and stress in many lives. Happiness is a terrible god. There is no way to please it. The reason that the question about summer can spark a negative feeling is that the god of happiness allows for no contrary feelings. The truth about summer is that our emotions and sense of well-being is pretty much what it is at all times. Barring some mental health crisis or victory, we (always?) carry feelings of happiness and sadness, of fulfilment and emptiness, of gratitude and grief.
I’ve been thinking about this due, in part, to a conference that I attended this summer (as part of the “best summer ever”). Professor Andrew Root was speaking at a series of lectures at the Vancouver School of Theology. He was addressing changes in the church and in culture. Part of his presentation identified that the nature of our feelings of fear and inadequacy has changed over centuries. Building on the work of Charles Taylor, Root pointed out that not that long ago historically, say 500 years ago or so, it was virtually impossible to not believe in God in the Western world. This default worldview carried a lot of baggage, to be sure, but it also provided a sense of some certainty. You might be afraid of being judged or condemned by God, but you did tend to know where you stood in the world. You would not think about creating an identity, about discovering who you were so much.
Root, citing a book called The Weariness of the Self by French writer Alain Ehrenberg, identified that the cultural and psychological shift moved from trying to please God (or a concept thereof) to trying to please self. Ehrenberg is interested in this shift in relation to the history of depression. He argues that pleasing self is actually more oppressive as a measurement than pleasing God. It is a good thing, no doubt, that we have largely been emancipated from harsh and terrifying concepts of God. However, we may simply have replaced such ideas with impossible benchmarks of happiness or self-fulfillment.
So, how was your summer?
The old ideas of God carried a sometimes oppressive determination of your place and identity in the world. I celebrate that these old ideas continue to be exposed as often having little to do with God, faith, or humanity and more to do with power. We are better to leave them behind. The newer ideas of self often carry a terribly demanding and damaging call to “make something of yourself,” to ensure a successful career, or impressive identity or even to have a great summer.
What might it look like to let the pressure off? Here we are, the day after Labour Day. How was your summer? It’s okay if it was a 3. There may be extenuating circumstances beyond your control. Chances are it was around a 4 or a 6. That’s okay, too. And how are things looking for the fall? Are you already putting pressure upon yourself to have a great season? I am not arguing for indolence or insouciance. What I am presenting is the idea that the good you feel today is likely to come from something that you did not anticipate. Perhaps, you will have a positive and significant conversation with someone you have not spoken with in a while. Maybe you will be able to be helpful to a stranger or maybe some small everyday-type interaction will leave you with a feeling of being blessed or of being a blessing. Your day might be better simply because, in some small way, you made someone else’s day better.
In the meantime, you might well be carrying stress or anxiety around the felt demand to “make something of yourself.”
Hopeful Christian theology holds onto the reminder that every one of us is something before we make ourselves anything at all. Our humanity, our ability to connect with and help others, is granted, not attained. We have opportunity to respond to such a gift. And that’s a good day, a good summer, a good start to the new season.
Missed you: welcome back!