“Dr. Dobson says …”
“Dr. Dobson says …” are words that were repeatedly heard in many evangelical churches and families during the 1980s onward. Many people later realized that Dr. Dobson was a political figure posing as a religious leader. What he said was intended to further a political agenda.
Many have recovered from hearing the words “Dr. Dobson says …”, but many scars remain.
If you were on the receiving end of the sentiment, or if you were one of the people who repeated the words thinking that they carried moral or spiritual weight, it is okay to push past that part of your life.
On matters of family, society, and certainly on matters of what the Christian faith means it might actually be more beneficial for you and for the world if you decide not to care about what Dr. Dobson says.
A Deeper Consideration
I do note that this makes twice in a row that this newsletter has spoken of Dr. James Dobson. I’m thinking that twice will be enough for me and likely for you as well. I offer the following reflection on the words “Dr. Dobson says …” as I have seen some of the damage that Dr. Dobson’s words have done in church settings. Please note that the “Dr.” in James Dobson’s name refers to a Psychology Degree. Though he was willing to be known as a theological and biblical authority, he has no formal theological education.
In the evangelical church in North America from the 1980s on, it was common to hear the words, “Dr. Dobson says …” followed by some kind of opinion or insight or condemnation to do with family or politics or in more rare circumstances, faith.
James Dobson is part of the evangelical experience that a lot of people would like to forget. Decades ago it became clear to some who listened to the Focus on the Family radio show that Dobson was a political figure more than a spiritual or religious leader. His interest was politics and he was a partisan on the right wing and eventually the far right wing of political punditry.
I bring him up in this newsletter because he was a key part of a theological perspective that presented itself as not one perspective among many, but rather as the only possible way of seeing things. It may be helpful for you to hear that most Christians in history have not agreed with most of what Dr. Dobson has said. He represents one branch of religious and social expression. This nationalist, paranoid pseudo-conservative worldview has co-opted evangelical Christianity into serving its ideological goals. It welcomes no dissent and characterizes any opponent, anyone who differs, as a danger to your soul and to your world. Its illegitimacy is demonstrated by the fact that it claims to be rightfully in charge and terribly victimized at the same time.
In the 1990s my friend and fellow-minister Ken and I were in Denver attending a Church Leaders’ Conference. We noticed a bumper sticker on a number of the cars in the area near Colorado Springs (where Focus on the Family is headquartered). The bumper sticker said, “Focus on Your Own Damn Family”.
Just about everyone who grew up in an evangelical church heard the words. Jen and I who have now been married for 29 years, shared an early “date” at a screening of a Focus on the Family film called, “Turn Your Heart Toward Home”. It was shown at a local theatre on a Sunday night (evening church service time).
Decades later, Jen’s aversion to Dr. Dobson remains strong. A few years ago I brought a coffee table book home from the church library knowing that Jen would hate it. I brought it as kind of a joke, and I didn’t want anyone else at the church to see it. The book was a 25 year anniversary celebration of Focus on the Family. Jennifer, who is otherwise the nicest person you could ever meet, tore every page of the book in pieces. When done that, she tore up the cover.
You may find Jen’s reaction a little strong. What if you were one of the people who thought that Dr. Dobson was helpful in Christian understanding and practice? You may have purchased videos for your kids or listened to the radio show. You may have been under the impression that Dr. Dobson was a Christian leader worth listening to rather than a political figure expressing disdain for any other opinion. My interest is not to say that anyone who listened to Dobson is terrible. My interest is to say that Dobson, as a Christian leader, is terrible.
In a book called, “Love Must Be Tough” Dr. Dobson said that some women deliberately bait their husbands into hitting them until they “get the prize they sought”, “a bruise that they could parade before neighbours, the press and the law” in order to “gain a moral advantage and to justify an unbiblical escape from marriage.”
One of the troubling things that Dr. Dobson said regularly was that men derive self-esteem from being respected while women derive self-esteem from being loved. The idea that love and respect are particular to gender is messed up thinking, but Dobson would use comments like this to seek to shape listeners’ social and political views. It was manipulative and cynical and it demonstrated weakness, not strength.
As a pastor I saw the damage that Dobson could do within local congregations. As he claimed a mantle of authority and wisdom that should never have been granted, he became part of a theological and social network that contributed much pain and sorrow and confusion within many families.
An offer then to be free of it: you don’t have to rip up a Focus on the Family book, though you are welcome to if you have one at hand, but let’s agree, no more, “Dr. Dobson says …”.
Last week’s Evangelically Departed included a link to the book, “Jesus and John Wayne” which discusses James Dobson at length. In the video below, the author, Kristin Kobes Du Mez speaks about questions that readers have sent to her about her own faith and about evangelicalism.
There was a documentary released in 2007 called, “For the Bible Tells Me So” A couple of clips that pertain to Dr. Dobson:
From 59 minutes to 1 hour 3 minutes 20 seconds, a clip in which you can hear Dr. Dobson and some of the destructive things that he said.
From 1 hour 23 minutes 11 seconds until approx. 1 hour 28 minutes there is a clip of a family who goes to Focus on the Family headquarters in order to speak with Dr. Dobson about how his words hurt their family. As in many such cases, the people who spew the most vile hate turn out to be cowards. Dr. Dobson would not meet with the family and they were arrested for trespassing on Focus on the Family grounds.