I have been to Wimbledon once and there weren’t many people around. The major tennis tournament at Wimbledon takes place each July. I was in London for a conference in May 2017, and on an off day rented a bike under the London Bridge and headed out for a ride. I didn’t make it onto the grounds of Wimbledon. I only got some pictures from the other side of a fence. It’s very proper, very British. These kinds of places are constructed not only for athletics, pomp and ceremony, but to make very clear who does not belong. Arguably, it’s the biggest reason places like this exist, to keep people out.
(as close as I got to Wimbledon)
Last week I watched some of the Wimbledon Men’s Final match between Novak Djokovic and Nick Kyrgios. Djokovic has become accepted at Wimbledon by way of his now 7 titles, which are among his 21 major championship titles. He is one major behind Rafael Nadal and one ahead of Roger Federer. Djokovic might be the best male tennis player ever, though some say Nadal, based on major titles. More actually say Federer, but that seems to be at least in part because Federer is seen as more likeable than Djokovic, and Federer has never been kicked out of Australia.
No one says that Nick Kyrgios is the greatest tennis player ever and yet there he was, in the final, against Djokovic, with a chance to win. He actually won the first set. I am telling you all of this because in the few days following the match I couldn’t get Kyrgios out of my head.
Kyrgios’ entire Wimbledon story seemed summed up with one statement - he didn’t belong there. This is not because of his tennis. He has always demonstrated an astonishing level of athletic talent and strength. What he lacks is the correct discipline and manners. He didn’t belong there because of who he is, because of how he behaves, because of who he identifies with, and because of how he, apparently, acts on and off the court. All of this was made plain by reporters, commentators, and most directly, by Kyrgios himself. He is famous for yelling on the court, for arguing with the officials, for trying ridiculous shots for no reason in what some see as disrespect for the game. He is famous for being the bad guy, the person who is furthest away from British Wimbledon manners. Be careful if you start liking him, because he will do something that you can’t defend. Kyrgios was asked if, now that he made the final, he could see himself coming to like Wimbledon, coming to be a part of it more often. He replied that he won’t be back for strawberries and cream (the famous Wimbledon treat).
Here is why I have had him on my mind:
I heard him and others say, in the lead-up to the match, that he did not fit the culture and the context. In his words, he does not belong. By the day before the match he was embracing it on behalf of others in his life and in the world. He said that maybe his being there could show his mates, and anyone who is judged as bad or unacceptable, that they can make it, too. After he won the first set, things started to go downhill for him. He was (and this is how commentators actually described it) “well-behaved” up until that point. Once he started losing he started yelling at his player’s box. This is where a player’s family and coaches and friends and invited guests sit. He verbally accosts them in a way that is hard to hear. It is difficult to understand how this might help him in the match, but his family says that they know him and they know that he will do this. His Mom (who now does not even watch his big matches because she gets so nervous) said, “You don’t want to be in his box. You really don’t, because you don’t know when to stand and when to clap and when to shout. We have been there and it is not a good experience.” Nick’s brother Christos said, “He wouldn’t be our Nick if he wasn’t fiery during the match and that’s how he plays and that’s how he gets himself up. He tries to increase his intensity and whatever else and that’s how he does it, and that’s what we know from him. The fight was there the whole match, the match was incredible. You need a pressure valve, right? We have said to him many times, if you need to, if that helps you in the moment, if it helps you deal with adversity and the pressure, throw some our way. We not going anywhere. We are here for you.”
If you have read Evangelically Departed before you might suspect that there is some reason of faith that I could not get Kyrgios out of my head. You are correct in that assumption. The photo that you’ll see a little down this post keeps making me cry. Whenever I hear someone saying that they know they don’t belong I hear strains of the gospel. Christian gospel is for people who don’t belong. It is only for people who don’t belong. The ones who think that they belong have no need of such astounding hope. This week I am taking a course on the Eastern Tradition, on Orthodox spirituality and interpretation. Our professor reminded us that all of the patriarch stories in the Bible are trickster stories. He also reminded us that there are no “Christian families” in the Bible. None of the families that God worked through in the arc of redemption and renewal are families that you would want as neighbours. Our professor at that point spoke much more loudly and in a way that seemed part sermon, part prayer, like he was talking to us and to himself and to God at once, hollering now, “DAVID WAS A BASTARD!” (King David sexually assaulted the wife of one of his soldiers while the soldier was off fighting a battle that David should have been fighting. He then intervened in the war strategy, not to increase the likelihood of military success, but to ensure that the soldier would be killed.) I don’t know just how bad Nick Kyrgios is, but his misdeeds don’t likely reach King David level.
There was Kyrgios, hollering on court with Prince William, Princess Kate and their 8-year-old son, Prince George, in the front row of the Royal Box less than 10 feet away. I think that it is curious that they decided to bring George to see Nick Kyrgios play. I suspect that they might be smart. Do you think that perhaps William and Kate know that the immovable propriety of Wimbledon and British Royal culture is as much (or more) of a threat to George than the misbehaviour of Nick Kyrgios? One of the rules at Wimbledon is that no children are allowed in the Royal Box. Only the Royal Family can break that rule, and they did.
Our professor, who is an Orthodox Theologian, at one point in the course quoted a Jewish scholar who writes on ethics: “Ethics does not begin until you meet the other who you do not understand and who you may never understand.”
In other words, ethics is first about personal encounter with someone who is different than you. It is not first about rules. In other words, you are not good because you are polite and immovable and proper. Goodness is found in moving towards the other person, towards the one that you don’t understand, towards the one that you feel so unlike, towards the one who everyone else in your circle says does not belong.
The reason I couldn’t get Nick Kyrgios out of my head was that the whole thing was a living parable of who, in the end, attends the great heavenly party. It turns out to be all of the ones who were told, by others and by themselves, that they do not belong. The self-appointed keepers of morality are on the outside looking in. Maybe then the gates will finally be opened to all because it turns out that it is the ones who were excluded who are not interested in gates and fences. They’ll let anybody in. This is why religious people always take over fence guarding duty from Jesus. They are far more discriminating than He is when it comes to keeping people out.
Wimbledon is rules. The players are only allowed to wear white. This became controversial again this year as some female players were asked to leave the court and change because their non-white bra was showing through their top. As a friend and co-worker would say at such a thing, “Oh, FFS!” (she does not use the abbreviation).
Some players countered that, given menstrual cycles, perhaps the all-white rule should be reconsidered.
What does this have to do with Nick Kyrgios? Well, after the final, after he lost, he misbehaved again and got fined. The press conference seemed okay. He said that he only got an hour sleep the night before, but he felt really good. He was grateful to have made the final. He also said that he wasn’t really looking forward to getting back to the final again because he was so very tired. The fine came because as he accepted the runner-up trophy, he broke the all-white rule.
He put on a baseball cap - a red baseball cap, thanks be to God - and was wearing it when handed the trophy by Princess Kate. She did not seem to mind, but the keepers of society and manners, the bureaucrats of propriety, would have none of it and Kyrgios was fined. The photo of Kyrgios and Kate, however, outdoes the bureaucrats. Gospel always offends propriety. There is gospel moving from many directions in the photo.
Final note - you have likely noticed already, but the names are real and they make this real life story seem more like a novel. Nick is Australian, but indeed his family has Greek (and thus Orthodox) roots. “Kyrios” is the word for “Lord”, and of course Nicholas is a saint. How much do you think I love that “Lord Saint Nicholas” is the one who is labelled as unacceptable? The gospel is everywhere in our world if you are interested in seeing it. Christos (Nick’s brother) well no need to explain there.
Often in Orthodox liturgy, there is a twelvefold repetition of “Kyrios” - That which is repeated, twelve times in a row, is “Lord, have mercy.”
AMEN
Wimbledon is rules. Nick Kyrios is certainly not the first to challenge the “white world of Wimbledon.”. From my reading I learn that Marat Safin broke 1000 racquets. Jimmy Connors had an affair with Chris Evert. Andre Agassi was famous for his neon-lit attire. John McEnroe was the great entertainer on the court and always worried the tennis authorities.
When the tennis champions take their skills to Wimbledon, they also take “themselves”…their history, their childhood, their asthma, their character. Sadly, Nick Kyrios could not rise to the occasion, could not be consistent. As McEnroe said, Kyrios “beat himself”.
The Match was terrific. Kyrios really did have a chance to raise the trophy. He could have been in “exalted company” and with the trophy in hand, he mostly certainly would have worn his red cap.
In the end it was the consistent player who held the trophy.
I love that Novak Djokovich took a stand “for his body”.
Outside of Wimbledon he was free to be true to himself.
On the court he played by the rules. His choice.
Roger Federer has never spit at a spectator. Apparently Nick Kyrios has done that.
Roger follows the rules. His moral principles will be his legacy.
Billie Jean King submerged her true self and even married in order to “belong”.
Her legacy will be the WTA. She used her voice to initiate change.
In this earthly world we are all outliers. Where do we “belong”…certainly not everywhere.
“Somewhere” we will be an outcast.
The “Saints” were human, too…canonized only by their church.
In God’s World we will all be “canonized”, saved by grace by He who died for ALL.
Only in God’s World do we truly belong.