Christmas is an emotionally laden time of year. You mix nostalgia, expectations, social events, family events, and winter weather in the northern hemisphere and what sometimes results is a kind of assault on spirituality, emotion and mental health. There is so much good, but there is also just so much everything.
Church, at Christmas, is laden like this as well. For the almost three decades in which I worked at an evangelical church, Christmas was my favourite time of year, yet it also carried an almost unbearable amount of expectation and stress. I experienced most, if not all, of the following in my time as a pastor at Christmas:
The church presenting Christmas as a time to “witness” to “unbelievers”
The idea here was that the services of Advent and Christmas might include more visitors who were not Christians. This meant that the chance to achieve some kind of sales, a transaction, should not be missed. You might be able to see the positive in this. It is not a bad thing to think about visitors as well as those in regular attendance, but it does beg the question of how you would like it if a place you were intending to visit was literally preparing in advance about how to get you to make a major life change when you do show up. Beyond the obvious commercial examples, such tactics can seem more than a little crass.
The sanctuary decorated with a modicum of beauty
Many evangelical churches share a tradition that has been against displays of art and beauty in the sanctuary. Such things were seen to be “too Catholic”. At Christmas, many of these same churches actually do some decorating; perhaps some trees, pretty lights, a nativity that looks as much Restoration Hardware as it does Ancient Near East. The decorating could actually convey a sense of awe, or at least of sentiment. Of course there were always the “Advent is NOT Christmas” voices. These voices were generally not evangelical, but more focussed on long held traditions of the church. The people who were against decorations in December from this worldview liked to tell other people about the proper way to celebrate Christmas. This, in itself, is a dubious concept.
Pageants
Not too long ago most evangelical churches could manage to put on a kids’ Christmas pageant. At least a couple of things were essential for this.
A staff member or willing volunteer to organize, plan, rehearse and oversee the performance of the pageant.
The presence of children in the church.
As there has been a movement from small churches to large churches in evangelicalism (an ultimately unhealthy trend), more and more churches have ceased to have a viable Sunday School programme. This means that there are often not enough kids to put on a pageant. Things like this can be a significant stress point for pastors as the expectations people carry are often dictated by the way things used to be or by the way things are at the church down the street. People can bring expectations from a church that has a huge budget and a large staff to their much smaller community church. Whenever Christmas services become a “show”, it means that most churches and pastors will have a hard time bringing it all together.
Calendar
Things can get ridiculously full in terms of schedule at evangelical churches during the Christmas season. When I was a pastor, the (not large) congregation of which I was a part would have banquets for multiple ages (seniors, adults, young people). There were often events to attend put on by religious groups outside of the church. Add to this that most ministries in the church had special Christmas events and gatherings. Finally, there were the actual services. In one church that I worked there were the four services of advent, then 3 separate services on Christmas Eve and a service on Christmas morning. The ministers were expected to be at all of these. As a pastor with a young family this did not necessarily add to the family Christmas cheer.
“Youth Pastor Sunday”
I coined this as a name for the Sunday between Christmas and New Years. The ministers who worked as Youth or Associate Pastor in some churches were rarely, if ever, asked to preach on a Sunday. The exception was “Youth Pastor Sunday”. The one day when you could be sure not many people at all would be present and when the Sr. Pastor needed a Sunday off after the busyness of Christmas. The youth or associate pastor also likely needed a break, but was expected to appreciate being asked to preach on the lowest Sunday of the year.
Gratitude
One time after our Christmas Eve service a woman in the congregation came to my office to speak with me. She was angry. I was tired. I was trying to quickly pack up and get home as we had a gathering of friends and family for Christmas Eve. I thought that church had gone well, but this woman was livid. I soon found out why. I had given an illustration in the sermon in which I spoke of a “miracle at Christmas”. I was obviously joking by using such a term, and the miracle was that on Dec. 23rd, in the early afternoon, I got a parking spot very close to the liquor store at which I was picking up some wine. I included a photo of my car and the parking spot which was put up on the screen for a moment. This woman wanted me to know that the story threatened to ruin her Christmas as the story was obviously terrible and she had family members who didn’t go to church but were there for Christmas Eve, and what were THEY supposed to think about such a story?! (I note that this was my last Christmas Eve working at the church after 15 years).
These were the kinds of regular frustrations and accusations and disappointments that needed to be carried through the season for pastors. Having said that, I am nothing but grateful for that woman. I knew her for decades. She was a caring person (in her own way) and celebrating Christmas at church meant celebrating with her and many others. I actually miss seeing this person, especially at Christmas. She was the kind of person who was often a pain in the ass for the pastor, but I liked being part of a community with her in it. I loved Christmas at church. In these pandemic, and almost done pandemic days, it is not quite the same. That is okay, too. I am grateful for the celebrations and the services, but the gratitude at Christmas is based not on what we do as much as it is on what has been done for us.
However you are celebrating this year, blessings from me to you in the midst of it all. Maybe right now, the middle of December is when things really ramp up. May you be blessed with enough busyness to enliven you, but not so much to overwhelm you.